Vanessa Van Edwards is a behavioral investigator and the founder of Science of People. She's the bestselling author of Captivate and Cues, which have been translated into 18 languages, and more than 1.2 million people subscribe to her YouTube channel. Her new book, Conversation, comes out October 6. Pre-order it here, and find her on Instagram and LinkedIn.
She's also one of the most impressive people I've ever met. A literal creator scientist, no one approaches their work with more rigor and intention.
I first met Vanessa in 2019 while we were both recording courses at LinkedIn Learning. I already knew her work and was a little starstruck. But she quickly put me at ease and showed her curiosity when she immediately began asking questions about ME. Which is why she's the perfect person to write her new book, Conversation. I asked her to help us apply the insight from her book on 1:1 conversations to creators who are having conversations at scale.
We spend a good chunk of our day in conversation. Newsletters, videos, threads, comment sections… but the problem is, almost none of it talks back to us.
Here’s the problem: if you’re a creator, whether you’re a writer, an influencer, or simply replying to others’ comments, you can’t see a single face.
So, what now?
Here’s the big idea: An audience of 10,000 is still a conversation. It just needs a way to answer you.
I spent two decades researching my new book Conversation, and one principle changed how I think about everything I publish:
“Your job isn’t to impress. It’s to discover.”
When you stop performing and start hunting for what lights people up, you become a better conversationalist. And it also makes you a better creator.
So I put together seven questions to ask the people on the other side of your one-way conversations. Take one for the bottom of your next email or video, and ACTUALLY read the replies.
- Working on anything exciting these days? (Power Question #1 from the book. It works on strangers, best friends, and yes, subscribers.)
- Where are you reading this? (Couch? Commute? Hiding in the pantry?)
- What made you open this one?
- What’s your unpopular opinion about [your topic]?
- What do you wish you’d known when you started?
- What have you been too embarrassed to ask?
- If we got coffee tomorrow, what would you ask me?
Will everyone answer? Nope! Most of your readers will keep quietly lurking (no shame, lurkers!). But the ones who DO reply become your regulars… and sometimes, your real friends!
If you can, answer every single reply for the first week or two. And keep a running doc of the very best answers—these are great for tomorrow’s content ideas, written by the exact people you want to reach.
Want the other eight power questions and more? They’re in Conversation, along with my 3-level blueprint for turning small talk into real connection. It comes out October 6, and I would be so grateful for a pre-order. ❤️
To your success,
Vanessa Van Edwards
PS: Jay had me on the Creator Science podcast back in 2020 (episode #11!). Six years later, I finally made it into the newsletter!
