Solving the Cobbler Problem

Unfortunately, I bet you have some experience with today's topic:

I call this The Cobbler Problem, a play on the classic adage, "The cobbler's children have no shoes."

It's a classic adage because it's so universally relatable! Someone with known abilities uses those abilities to help others – but often neglects to use those same abilities for their own good.

Causes

There are two root causes of this no-shoes phenomenon:

1. Our tendency to deprioritize ourselves
2. Our infatuation with a perfect vision

Let me expand on each…

Paralyzed by perfection

Ideas are intoxicating. When something is just an idea, it's perfect in our minds. We don't get caught up in the details of how that idea will work, we just imagine what our life is like on the other side of the perfect execution of that idea.

The life we've always wanted.

So when it comes for the rubber to meet the road – for that perfect execution to happen – we freeze. The reality is harder and messier than the fantasy. We're faced with the prospect of failure – if we can't perfectly execute, we might have to acknowledge that that perfect future was out of reach...

So, we kick the can down the road. We choose to live with the perfect fantasy rather than try and actually improve our reality.

Always a bridesmaid, never a bride

Sometimes we just don't make the time. The more empathetic you are, the more likely you are to prioritize the needs of others above yourself.

If you never make time for yourself, you can't expect to make progress for yourself either. And I get it! It's hard to turn down the certainty of revenue from a paying client for the possibility of time invested in yourself paying off.

So what can you do?

Solutions

So far, I've developed a three-prong approach that works to solve this issue:

1. Acknowledge the fear
2. Become your own client
3. Embarrass yourself

Acknowledge the fear

When you name something, it loses a lot of power over you. If you find yourself paralyzed by the (subconscious) fear that you might let yourself down, you need to first acknowledge that.

This is the power of journaling and why I practice Morning Pages. Most mornings, I sit down and write in my journal. No judgment, no worry for spelling or grammar, just a stream-of-consciousness conversation with myself.

Two questions that help me:

1. What am I feeling?
2. What would I do if I wasn't afraid?

Again, I can't overemphasize how important it is to be HONEST with yourself. This isn't for anyone else – no one else needs to see it. This helps you recognize what may be holding you back AND lets you tap into your own skill – you know the answer. You know what you should do. Give yourself some space to think it through.

Become your own client

When we have other paying clients, we tend to recognize that revenue as a reason to prioritize their needs above our own. We leave ourselves with either no time or time devoid of our best creative energy.

What if you were your own client? How would you treat yourself differently? What if you gave YOURSELF your best time of day?

Run your own project management process on yourself. Put it into your calendar. Treat these times are meetings that are as sacred as calls with your other clients.

Embarrass yourself

This method may not be for everyone, but it certainly works for me.

One of the best ways I've found to create GREAT work for myself (and quickly) is to publish a very barebones version – publicly – first.

When I push something live that represents me, and it's below the standard that I strive for, I feel embarrassed. And now I have a fire under my butt – I need to iterate and improve on this ASAP to relieve the embarrassment I'm feeling!

I'm constantly publishing these minimum viable versions of things as a way to hack my own behavior into prioritizing improvements. I can't bear the public embarrassment (that is probably a figment of my imagination). The reality is no one really cares. No one is paying that close of attention. But – my own vanity forces my hand into making that public-facing thing better as quickly as possible.

Conclusion

The more you tell yourself that you HAVE The Cobbler Problem, the more it becomes part of your narrative. It's self-fulfilling. So you need to break out of that cycle as soon as possible – remember that YOU have the ability to serve yourself.

Recognize that your perfect vision is something to strive for – but it won't be Version 1. It might not even be Version 10. And that's OK! Life is usually still better, even with the messy first draft.

Remember that you are your most important client. Don't get locked in ​platinum handcuffs​.